I recently returned to this site with thanks and praise that my lost leather purse, keys and credit card were returned. They disappeared at a trade show I was attending, and I thought between security and myself – we had considered every scenario. Turns out they had been put in a donation bag. Although my personal belongings were returned, the so-called charitable organization chose to keep my conference bag that was full of merchandise I really needed. Tonight I return for your prayers, still in anticipatory grief and hopelessness. I am completely alone, have lost nearly everyone I love, while my only living sister is completely disabled. At home, I live in a world of clutter that keeps me from getting anything done. I am desperate to get to California to see my ill sister, but nothing is coming together. Just as an example, I have been in my kitchen for much of the day, and haven’t managed to clear a single countertop. The scenario repeats itself in every room except for my bathroom. I really need help, and I’m on a waitlist with a local community partnership group. I am praying my name will come up soon. I have spent the last few holiday seasons alone, as I have lost most of my family, and my daughter makes no effort to spend time with me. She is a child I adopted as a toddler, and she has pretty significant mental health issues. As far as the pending trip goes, I am praying I can find an Airbnb or hotel along with a reasonable airfare to get to California. I pray I can resolve the relationship with my daughter. I need help getting my home in order so I don’t spend another holiday season in a hoarded home by myself. I would appreciate prayers that God bring me a partner with compassion and understanding. In the meantime, I need to resolve issues with a man I love dearly. He and I cannot be together, but I would like to spend even a few moments with him to come to an understanding and let him know my heart will always be with him. He is someone you might call a rising star in the film industry, and I pray that God guide his every step. He is so loving, so kind and so incomparably talented. He has worked so hard for everything he has gained, and it has really paid off. If circumstances were different, we could be a loyal, loving and devoted couple. I am a talented, beautiful, award-winning writer, and I have nothing to show for it. The friends I have I am truly grateful and thankful for. I lost my best friend, and several other close friends, but never take what I do have for granted. The man I hope to briefly connect with is everything I’ve ever wanted. We are in very different phases of our lives, and there is no possibility of us being together. We live on opposite ends of the country, and his work takes him all over the world. That is just another form of grief hanging over me after I’ve lost nearly everyone else. I need God to guide me toward a renewed sense of purpose and hope.
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