My wife and I have been married for 4.5 years now. We are both in our 50’s. She was married twice before to men who died of cancer, but in both cases she wanted to divorce both of them and only stayed when she found out they had cancer.
She separated from me 4 months ago under false pretenses, running to church staff of a small church where we both attended and served quite a bit, and accusing me of all kinds of false things. The leaders didn’t follow God’s Word in any of how they handled it, and to this day still haven’t spoken with me to hear my ‘side’ or to work with both of us through marital counseling. It’s very strange and demonic seeming behavior.
She left not because of anything in our marriage, but because I had seen behaviors in the leaders of the church that I believe was God showing me that I could no longer be a part of that church. I told my wife that I needed to start attending another church, but that I didn’t want to interrupt her friendships and ministry at our church, so I’d quietly go somewhere else and she and I would pray and ask God for what we should do.
I mentioned my plan to go to another church 3 days later, and she was noticeably panicked and begged me to not go to another church. I reiterated that I’d do it quietly, she could keep her friends, and we’d pray. I said, who knows, if God corrects what’s going on at this church I’d love to rejoin you there.
2 days after this she left our marriage and our home.
She has been accusing me falsely of all kinds of things, and getting some wayward men from church involved in un-Biblical ways too.
She refuses to communicate in any way but text and email, and frequently gives me ‘the silent treatment’ or ‘stonewalling’ me, as punishment.
It’s been a mess, very much like the story of Jezebel and Ahab in the Bible. So many details, it would take pages and pages to share them all here.
Based on how my wife would engage in things like DARVO, gaslighting, blame-shifting, and more in our arguments that only happened when I brought up things about her behavior that I didn’t like, and her triangulation, smear campaigns, false accusations, and more after separation.
It is clear that she is at least engaging in all of the behaviors of a covert Narcissist.
Please pray for Sarah, my wife, to be healed and our marriage to be healed and reconciled as a covenant marriage before God.
Thank you.