Severe anger issues

Hello I am new so I hope this isn’t too much to post.

I am currently 23, and I have been so angry for almost an entirety of my life. I have had 15 surgeries due to very serious health complications, and I can’t remember most of my childhood because of it. I am also phsyically disabled because of this, and my legs are two different lengths. My father was phsyically and emotionally abusive to me as a child, so I feel like that has added onto my resentment towards people.

Recently, anger has been controlling me so much and I feel so lost. I feel abandoned and alone, and very mentally sick. I don’t know how to describe it, but it just feel so sick. When I get angry, I talk to myself outloud and get so emotionally charged that i’m almost violent. Deep down I know that isn’t who I am as a person, so I am always confused on why this rage is coming out so severely. It happens everyday. There hasn’t been a day in almost a year where i’m not angry or crying!

I don’t know if Jesus loves me, or has heard me before. I don’t know if he doesn’t think I am sincere.. I just feel so lost in life and i’m ready for Jesus to lift some of my burden if He wants to. This is my final way of trying. Please pray for me. I’m so tired of feeling so angry. I don’t control it. This is all very embarrassing for me to admit publicly, but I am desperate. I just want Jesus to help me.