Struggling with Marriage

I’ve been married for over 17 years, and to say it’s been challenging would be an understatement. My wife grew up in a broken home, and there’s been a lot of emotional damage. Some issues carried into our marriage that I didn’t know about while we were dating, and they’ve caused significant strain.

Throughout our marriage, my wife has struggled with intimacy and fertility issues. We’ve been blessed with one amazing child, but we had hoped for two. Sadly, she experienced several miscarriages and had to undergo a hysterectomy at a young age. On top of that, she now battles autoimmune disease and is frequently ill. In the past month and a half alone, she’s had kidney stones, broken her toe, and contracted COVID. She’s often in pain and usually in bed by 8:00 pm.

These health challenges have led to bouts of depression and addiction. Despite everything, one constant has been her devotion to Christ—that’s what drew me to her in the first place. However, we grew up in very different homes (she was Baptist, I was Catholic), and even attending a non-denominational church has added strain.

Because of the lack of intimacy, I turned to pornography for an extended season, which deeply hurt our marriage. I was wrong, and I admit it. It’s been a long time since we’ve been intimate, and the illnesses have taken a toll. I feel beaten down and exhausted. Lately, I’ve been sleeping in a separate room to give her rest, and this has gone on for nearly a month.

I need strength to support her and could use prayer. Please pray for my wife to find the right doctor, for healing of past hurts, and for answers about her struggles with intimacy. Pray that I can love and support her better, and that bitterness doesn’t take root in me. I know I need Christ’s help. I will never leave my wife—I just want peace. We haven’t had true health in our marriage for nearly 16 years, and I’m tired. Please pray for us.

Heavenly Father, I lift up this husband and his wife before You. You see every wound, every illness, every disappointment, and every quiet moment of pain they have carried through these many years. I ask that You pour out Your healing over his wife, guide her to the right doctors, bring relief to her body, restore her strength, and heal the deep hurts she has carried since childhood. Bring comfort to her mind, peace to her heart, and light to her spirit. Strengthen their marriage where it has been weakened, rebuild intimacy in a way that honors You, and renew the love that first brought them together. Father, surround this husband with Your strength and patience; guard his heart from bitterness and fill him with compassion, endurance, and hope. Let Your presence rest upon their home, bringing peace where there has been exhaustion and unity where there has been strain. Lord, bless them with Your grace, guide them with Your wisdom, and carry them through this season with Your unfailing love. Amen.

Dear God, we pray You will give him the strength and love he needs to support her and rip up and prevent any roots of bitterness from springing up in their lives. We pray for his wife to find the right doctor, for healing of past hurts, and for answers about her struggles with intimacy. We pray that both parties will be willing to love their partners in the way that they need, and we pray for communication, support, compassion, trust, intimacy, love, health, healing, strength, endurance, faith and anything else they may need to overcome their differences and adversities so they can live out their marriage in peace under Your guidance and blessing. In Jesus’ name, amen.