I’ve been married for over 17 years, and to say it’s been challenging would be an understatement. My wife grew up in a broken home, and there’s been a lot of emotional damage. Some issues carried into our marriage that I didn’t know about while we were dating, and they’ve caused significant strain.
Throughout our marriage, my wife has struggled with intimacy and fertility issues. We’ve been blessed with one amazing child, but we had hoped for two. Sadly, she experienced several miscarriages and had to undergo a hysterectomy at a young age. On top of that, she now battles autoimmune disease and is frequently ill. In the past month and a half alone, she’s had kidney stones, broken her toe, and contracted COVID. She’s often in pain and usually in bed by 8:00 pm.
These health challenges have led to bouts of depression and addiction. Despite everything, one constant has been her devotion to Christ—that’s what drew me to her in the first place. However, we grew up in very different homes (she was Baptist, I was Catholic), and even attending a non-denominational church has added strain.
Because of the lack of intimacy, I turned to pornography for an extended season, which deeply hurt our marriage. I was wrong, and I admit it. It’s been a long time since we’ve been intimate, and the illnesses have taken a toll. I feel beaten down and exhausted. Lately, I’ve been sleeping in a separate room to give her rest, and this has gone on for nearly a month.
I need strength to support her and could use prayer. Please pray for my wife to find the right doctor, for healing of past hurts, and for answers about her struggles with intimacy. Pray that I can love and support her better, and that bitterness doesn’t take root in me. I know I need Christ’s help. I will never leave my wife—I just want peace. We haven’t had true health in our marriage for nearly 16 years, and I’m tired. Please pray for us.